BILL GRAVES: Oklahoma’s Living Monument
to Bigotry and Homophobia

Bill “Walking Dead” Graves did two separate stints as an Oklahoma legislator representing House District 84 before having to leave due to term limits. During his sixteen years at the Capitol, Graves attempted to force his religious views and anti-gay hate into Oklahoma law. In 2006 he won a district judge seat in Oklahoma County.  

Graves made the No. 8 spot on Gossip Boy’s 2009 Gay Hater List. In previous years he may’ve ranked higher, but there seems to be a dwindling of his influence. Still, this is one old bastard that needs to be watched until his head is chopped off, his body buried in four different pieces and directions, and the ground is salted.

Some highlights of Graves’ life:

AD 1980 – Serving as an attorney for the Little Axe School District, who was being sued by two women over prayer clubs in school, Bill Graves said the courts need to go back to 1791 and overturn every decision against school prayer. In response, the ACLU attorney said, “[Graves] has a Rip Van Winkle view of constitutional law.” Graves did succeed in enflaming the issue so much that the women’s children started showing up from school bloodied and beaten.

AD 1984 – In challenging the elimination of sexist language, which defined a man as being the head of a household in Oklahoma, Rep. Graves made it clear how his tenure as a lawmaker would play out by stating, “the state is a religious establishment, and to change the wording of the statute is against God's law."

AD 1996 – Rep. Graves became the legal counsel for Charles Key, who with the John Birch Society, was trying to blame the OKC Bombing on Arabs, atheists, the government, and everyone they could think of that would get the public’s mind off the Christian Patriot Movement. 

AD 1996 – Sally and Steve Kern rode into town.

AD 1996 – Film producers for the movie ‘Twister’ learned that Bill Graves got a bill passed that prohibited their PG 13-rated movie from taking advantage of state incentive rebates, which under Graves had been changed to make only G and PG movies eligible. No other major movie has been filmed in the state since.

AD 1998 – Graves got his hands on a book called The Homosexual Network, a tome from 1988 that was financed and published by Paul Weyrich (who has been discussed on Gossip Boy and who’s top employee during this time, Patrick McGuigan, is now editor of Oklahoma City’s The City Sentinel ). Graves used falsified statistics from the book to tell the public that having homosexuals in the school system was a significant danger. 

AD 1998 – Graves introduced language in a bill that would have made it illegal for schools and other state institutions to knowingly hire gays and lesbians. The measure, also, proposed banning the state from doing business with any private company that offered domestic partner benefits to their employees. The proposal failed with opponents saying it was better suited for 1930’s Germany where the Nazis outlawed certain groups from holding jobs; said groups later being sent to gas chambers. Lesbian school cooks across the state got to remain on the job.

AD 1999 – Graves sold his home to Steve and Sally Kern.

AD 1999 – Graves proposed legislation that would require the Ten Commandments be posted in Oklahoma classrooms.

AD 1999 – In HB 1802 Graves attempted to outlaw gays and lesbians from adopting children. The bill included wordage that said, “If it is established that a parent of the child is engaging in homosexual activity, there shall be a rebuttable presumption that it is not in the best interests of the child to have custody of the child granted to that parent.”

AD 1999 – Spurred on by the ‘Tin Drum’ controversy, Graves introduced legislation in defiance of the U.S. Supreme Court that said, “Evidence that a film or book had artistic or literary merit could no longer be used for a defense in child pornography cases.”

AD 2000 – He attempted to get a state law enacted that would've invalidated same-sex marriages or civil unions from other states.

AD 2001 – Proclaiming “"Our laws have been based on Christian justice for many years" Graves begged the state legislature to continue executing developmentally disabled people charged with capital crimes. His “Kill the ‘tards” oratory failed and compassion declared victory over Graves’ version of Christian justice.

AD 2001 – Graves challenged a proposed law that would’ve sought giving mentally ill criminal defendants treatment instead of incarceration, saying they should be treated just like anyone else, which is Graves-speak for “they should be hung off trees just like anyone else”.

AD 2002 – Articles written by Graves appeared in the Chalcedon Report, a Christian Reconstructionalist (dominionism) publication by R. J. Rushdooney, who advocated that the U.S. Constitution be replaced by archaic Biblical law that called for certain types of punishments for crimes – like the stoning deaths of homosexuals. The publication is critical of democracy declaring it interferes with a church state. 

AD 2003 – After the United States Supreme Court ruled that state sodomy laws were unconstitutional; Graves commented publicly, “[the decision] makes a mockery of morality and constitutional law.”

AD 2003 – Graves joined fellow attorney Chris Box (Hey, ain’t he gay???) to serve as the legal team representing the Christian Heritage Academy, who were whining that their little Hitler Youth Academy football team (The Fighting Panzers) wasn’t allowed to play in public school conferences. CHA was founded by homophobe Ralph Bullard and has spread out by putting a campus at Paul Blair’s Fairview Baptist Church in Edmond.

AD 2004 – Calling same-sex marriage repugnant, Graves introduced an amendment to an already existing state law barring same-sex marriage that would ban civil unions as well. Another bill he filed, which he had previously failed at getting through, would bar the state from acknowledging civil unions from other states. 

AD 2004 – Sally Kern takes over Graves’ house seat and his anti-gay, Christian dominionist agenda.

AD 2004 – HB 2194, which dealt with the purchase of textbooks, passed without the old fossil’s inclusion of a disclaimer that would’ve described evolution as: "a controversial theory which some scientists present as scientific explanation for the origin of living things" and "the unproven belief that random, undirected forces produced a world of living things." It also states, "No one was present when life first appeared on earth. Therefore, any statement about life's origins should be considered as theory, not fact." After looking at Graves sitting there with wild eyes and spit hanging off his lip, lawmakers decided to go with science and leave off the disclaimer.

AD 2004 – In his “too many damn Mexicans” tirade, Graves claimed more Hispanics and Mexicans in Oklahoma would ruin the culture in the state. In lieu of kicking his ass, the Latino Community asked for an apology, which they never fully received.

AD 2004 – Bill “A’scairt a Titties” Graves declared that mothers caught breastfeeding their babies in public should be prosecuted. Failing to understand the difference between a mother feeding her young child, and a sex act, Graves suggested they be treated as sex offenders.

AD 2008 – During Sally Kern’s now infamous homosexual agenda speech, she began, “Uh. . .well first, I have gotten some bills passed in to law, and secondly I was talking with Bill Graves once and he said, “I think you’re doing a good job and you kinda took up my program.””

AD 2008 – Now seated as a district judge, ye olde inquisitor got right upset when the Oklahoma Bar Association wanted to enact the American Bar Association’s new Code of Judicial Conduct, which would’ve included protections for sexual orientation. With his homespun panties in a wad, Bill got out his quill and wrote dastardly warnings about the homosexual agenda and anal sodomy.  Graves knows lots about anal sodomy has he can hearken back to days of yore, when as a young man (in say maybe 1914) he’d crawl into the pigpen nude and after getting down on all fours letting out an enticing “oink”.

AD 2008 – Word got out from the Oklahoma County District Court that Graves’ unique interpretation of law, that being he was relying solely on Biblical Code, and his obvious bias against non-whites and anyone perceived as homosexual, was raising some concerns. Graves was removed from hearing criminal hearings and given a special post where he could only preside over probate issues. (Having heard he could no longer pass lopsided decrees against homosexual or black defendants, nor determine the fate of their family issues, Graves jumped into his carriage and headed for the nearest PetSmart where he proceeded to bite the heads off of eighteen canaries. Store personnel claim he then jumped back on his carriage, which they claim on the back had a bumper sticker that said, “I don’t hate Jews. I just love gas chambers.”

AD 2008 – It is brought to the public’s attention that Judge Graves dates things with a Biblical emphasis. Such, as “April 8, AD 2008” which was the date he used in responding to the Code of Judicial Conduct changes.

AD 2009 – Graves’ carriage overturned, killing the judge. Later in the week, multiple reports of a zombie attacking Habana Inn patrons overwhelmed the City’s 911 Call Center.